Don’t call me “Babyface”, please…..
Sheril Kirshenbaum writes that regular readers know how she feels about the benefits and costs of new media. She says,
“A friend recently pointed me to this particularly ridiculous article criticizing moms who post profile photos of their children*. The author Katie Roiphe goes so far as to suggest feminist Betty Friedan would ‘turn in her grave‘ at such behavior:
The mystery here is that the woman with the baby on her Facebook page has surely read The Feminine Mystique in college, and The Second Sex, and The Beauty Myth. She is no stranger to the smart talk of whatever wave of feminism we are on, and yet this style of effacement, this voluntary loss of self, comes naturally to her. Here is my pretty family, she seems to be saying, I don’t matter anymore.”
Sheril goes on to say that as a 29 year old, it seems to her “despite the author’s diatribe, parents with digital cameras are not the problem. Instead I’m most alarmed by her blind ridicule of others–a behavior more often associated with high school cliques than a constructive dialog. So I remind Roiphe that there’s no cookie cutter model of what it means to be a feminist–or anything for that matter. However, unwarranted criticism will serve to alienate many, while doing little to foster social progress.”
Sheryl seems to feel that parents are not admitting to identity confusion when they post pictures of children, “pets, superheros, and legos” on their pages.
I have to admit, that when I first joined media groups like Cafe Mom and Meet Up, I was truly surprised to find out how many women used photos of their children, instead of photos of themselves.
Mostly, I felt like I didn’t belong on those pages, since I would never post a photo of a dog, cat, child, husband, house or anything else for that matter, instead of a picture of me.
I’ve worked hard in life to claim my own space on the planet. My blogs, thoughts and musings are my own, and I respectfully submit, that I want to leave room for everyone else to enjoy their own identity. Their for, you’ll never find a photo of my child or pet with my name next to it.
And, on another note, I do think Mothers need to have a sharp eye on what they lose of themselves, everyday as mothers; physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Without acknowledging that parenting is one of the most challenging jobs ever undertaken, fraught with pitfalls of self-denial, and a fundamental loss of self (At least during the early years), then we are just going to repeat past illusions of the sweet, satisfied fifties family life, and nothing could be further from the reality of day to day parenting. ~ Joy Rose