Stop the bus!

Stop the bus, I want to get off!

All that stuff about purpose from last time is really biting me in the butt.  I’m not one to complain in public, at least not without having some goal in mind, and a sense of how to solve the problem. So lately, I have had a few days where I feel like I am going through some tough times.  Not tough like life-or-death, or health issues, so don’t worry.  Just life running ragged, non-stop.  A setback here, another there on the road of life.  There aren’t enough hours in the day (are there ever?).  Things are piling up with no end in sight.  And yes, sometimes I feel alone in that I don’t think she can talk about it (oh no, what if people know that I’m not always happy and chipper?).  Yes, I do know, I’m not perfect and that’s only my problem and I have to get over it already.  I’m working on it…

I have been thinking a lot about what I wrote about making choices and being purposeful with them.  It’s hard to think about purpose when I feel like life is coming at me 250 million miles and hour, and I can hardly breathe.  But I at least think about it.  Awareness is important with purpose.  I know not every decision is a great one, but at least I am AWARE of it, not beating myself up over it.  I am taking a few moments to think about purpose, and what the purpose of this current struggle is for me.  Even if it’s the last waking thought before I fall off to sleep – the thought is there.

What else do I do?

I stay up too late writing music.  Music, any art of creation, really, is solace.  Thank goodness I have such a release to use when I feel like I can’t possibly face another day with another setback.  I talk to friends about music, share stories, and make any effort I can with the energy I have left to connect with people.

What else do I do?

I spend a lot more time hugging my boy.  Sitting with him.  Listening to him talk.  Hanging on every word.  Appreciating the new camp song he learned today.  Watching how he picks things up with hands that are so much bigger than an infant’s.  Thinking about the first day of school fast approaching and hoping things will turn out well for him in 1st grade.

Music and hugs.  It all sounds so simple…and it’s not, but I know I’ll have a better bus ride today because of them.

Kim Jennings, Guest blogger

3 responses to “Stop the bus!

  1. Stop the bus, the merry-go-round, the constant noise in my mind — yes! I agree with Kim: stopping to really appreciate our most precious bessings — children, family, (dogs, cats) — and really savor those moments — helps to slow the breathing. I am continually in denial in thinking there are more hours in a day, more minutes in an hour, and more seconds in a minute — and that I will somehow get to do everything I need to do and want to do. The truth is, we all need to stop overloading ourselves and create more “white space” in our day. How can this be done? I’ve started to make a few small (but profound) life changes, thanks to “The Unmistakable Touch of Grace” by Cheryl Richardson.

  2. Yes Kim and Ruthann I wonderfully said! It’s a constant balancing act being a working Mom!! One little thing I discovered that works quickly when I’m feeling less than good about everything is to just start talking to myself about all the things I love and appreciate in my life. I become aware of the not so good feeling thoughts I keep repeating to myself and instead begin to focus on the ones that make me feel better when I think them. Sometimes I just start writing out a list of things I feel good about. (This method has been termed a Rampage of Appreciation by the wonderful teachers, Esther and Jerry Hicks!) It raises my vibration to a much higher level so solutions to my problems can flood in. If we can find a way to feel better about it all whether that is a hug or a strum on the guitar, life suddenly get’s better just by changing our thoughts about it! Simple but true! Thanks guys for sharing these great insights! Peace and light…

  3. Sorry for the typo in the first line…that should read…wonderfully said!!! Thank you ladies!

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